How to Regulate Your Nervous System for Anxiety Relief
Have you ever received an email from a colleague or a text from a family member that triggered a physiological response as if you were running from a bear? Your heart races, you begin sweating, you feel tense and on edge, and you may even experience difficulties with your digestive system. In reality, there is no bear to run from, but our nervous systems respond to physical and emotional danger one in the same.
Our autonomic nervous system, the part of our nervous system that becomes activated in these scenarios, has two main states: hyperarousal (often known as fight or flight) and hypoarousal (freeze). When there's truly no bear to run from, you may be looking for ways to calm or regulate your nervous system so you can return back to daily life without feeling like something terrible is about to happen. Here's what most people don't realize: your nervous system isn't broken when it gets stuck on high alert, it just needs the right signals to stand down. And the good news? You can learn to give it those signals, both in the moment when anxiety hits and over time to build lasting resilience.
To do this, you'll want to turn on your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of our nervous system that counteracts our fight-flight-freeze system. When the parasympathetic nervous system turns back on, your heart rate slows, your breathing regulates, your muscles relax, and normal digestion resumes. This is why this state is referred to as "rest and digest." Here are some ways to reset your nervous system quickly:
Techniques to Reset Your Nervous System in the Moment
1. Extended Exhale Breathing (4-7-8 Breathing)
Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. If these lengths of time are not comfortable for you, what matters is that your exhale is longer than your inhale. A longer exhale signals safety to your nervous system and slows your heart rate.
Research shows that slow breathing at around six breaths per minute significantly reduces stress and anxiety. Another study found that exhale-focused breathing (called cyclic sighing) produced greater improvements in mood than other breathing patterns or even mindfulness meditation.
2. Ice Dive
For 30 seconds, do the following: Hold your breath, bend your head and body over as if you were going to touch your toes, and hold an ice pack on your eyes and cheek bones. Make sure to wrap a paper towel or tissue around the ice pack to protect your skin.
This will cue your mammalian diving reflex, a natural reflex that occurs in all mammals, and is triggered in humans when our faces are submerged in cold water. Since the steps above are meant to trick your brain into thinking you're diving into cold water, this reflex activates the parasympathetic nervous system, slowing your heart rate to protect your vital organs. You should begin to feel calm and relaxed. Many clients even report feeling a little sleepy.
Research on vagus nerve stimulation shows that activating the parasympathetic nervous system through techniques like cold exposure can reduce heart rate and redirect blood flow in ways that promote calm.
3. Grounding (5-4-3-2-1)
Name and describe 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste. This shifts your focus temporarily and allows your nervous system to regulate. This practice works because it engages your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain responsible for rational thinking, while giving your nervous system a break from threat detection mode.
4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Tense and release muscle groups from your toes to head (i.e. shoulders, abs, quads, toes). When you are anxious, it can feel hard to just "relax your muscles." So tensing and then releasing makes relaxing a bit easier.
5. Connecting with a Safe Person
Humans are wired to co-regulate one another. Talking to a person you find safe and calming regulates your nervous system and can help you calm down when doing so on your own feels too overwhelming. Research shows that social connection activates the vagus nerve, the main nerve of the parasympathetic system, which helps restore a sense of safety.
Building Long-Term Nervous System Resilience
While the strategies above are great for when you need to cope in the moment, here are some ways to maintain a regulated nervous system over time:
Sleep Hygiene
Your nervous system stabilizes when you have a predictable sleep/wake window. Going to bed and waking up around the same time, as well as getting 7.5-9 hours of sleep for adults, can make a big difference. Studies show that adults who get adequate sleep have lower baseline cortisol levels and better stress resilience.
Eating Regularly
Have you ever been so hungry that you're on the verge of a meltdown? Our sympathetic nervous system activates when we have a drop in blood sugar, so eating nutritional, regular meals can help prevent dysregulation.
Daily Movement
Daily movement, especially rhythmic movement, can help your system regulate in many ways. To name a few, exercise reduces baseline cortisol levels over time, regulates your breathing, and releases endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin which enhance emotional regulation and resilience. Research shows that regular physical activity, including simple walking, produces significant improvements in heart rate variability (HRV), a key marker of nervous system health and stress resilience.
Whatever your preferred method of exercise is – walking, swimming, yoga, dancing – you will not only feel short-term relief, but you can build a more resilient nervous system over time through continued practice.
Setting Boundaries and Reducing Sensory Overload
So many people are moving at such a fast pace in today's world. Whether you overcommit to social or family plans, have trouble saying no when a loved one asks for help, or have the TV blaring while scrolling on your phone, it's easy to understand how our nervous systems can easily enter overdrive. Consider checking in with yourself and your capacity, slow down when needed, and focus on doing one thing at a time when you can.
Professional Support
Therapy can be a helpful tool to regulate the nervous system over time. Therapists can help you learn signs of a dysregulated nervous system and support you in identifying your triggers. Therapies such as CBT, EMDR, and AEDP can be effective ways to treat anxiety, trauma, and other underlying disorders that may be contributing to nervous system dysregulation.
Moving Forward
While these short and long term coping strategies are helpful practices to make your nervous system feel safe, remember that no one is perfect. When your nervous system kicks into fight or flight, it's helpful to remind yourself that this is your brain doing whatever it can to keep you safe, and that's pretty impressive.
If you're finding it difficult to regulate on your own, or if anxiety is significantly impacting your daily life, reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You don't have to navigate this alone.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does it mean to regulate your nervous system?
Regulating your nervous system means learning to activate your parasympathetic nervous system (the "rest and digest" state) when your body is stuck in fight-or-flight mode. When you're anxious, your sympathetic nervous system stays on high alert even after the stressor has passed. Regulation techniques help signal to your body that it's safe to relax, allowing your heart rate to slow, your breathing to regulate, and your muscles to release tension.
How long does it take to regulate your nervous system?
The time it takes to regulate your nervous system depends on the technique and your current state. Immediate techniques like extended exhale breathing or the ice dive can calm your nervous system in 30 seconds to 5 minutes. However, building long-term nervous system resilience through consistent sleep, regular movement, and therapy can take several weeks to months of practice. The key is using both in-the-moment strategies and long-term habits together.
What are the signs of a dysregulated nervous system?
Common signs of a dysregulated nervous system include:
Racing heart or rapid breathing even when there's no immediate threat
Difficulty sleeping or staying asleep
Feeling constantly on edge or unable to relax
Digestive issues like nausea or stomach tension
Muscle tension, especially in the shoulders and jaw
Brain fog or difficulty concentrating
Frequent irritability or emotional overwhelm
If you're experiencing several of these symptoms regularly, working with a therapist can help you identify your triggers and develop personalized regulation strategies.
If you're looking for personalized support in managing anxiety and nervous system dysregulation, I offer a free 15-minute consultation to see if therapy might be a good fit for you. I'd be happy to help you take the next step toward feeling more grounded and in control.
About the Author
Jordyn Levine, LCSW
Jordyn Levine, LCSW (CA #101755), is a therapist and founder of a group practice based in West LA. She takes a collaborative, trauma-informed approach that is warm, relational, and evidence-based, with specialties in trauma, anxiety (including OCD/health anxiety and panic), grief, life transitions, and parenting.